Dust
How do you tell yourself that certain dreams should remain just that? That you should leave it in the realm of the unreachable as far away from the disdained reality that afflicts us all? You don't.
The dream i'm talking about, is the dream of a 6 year old crush. Whilst the duration didn't exactly total six years, everytime we stumbled upon one another my heart stopped. Thank god I only saw her once every few years, or I'd have a whole lot less to say these days. I thought that if ever, i had seen her again, I could finally burst the bubble which i've been lugging around with me all this while.
Last night I saw her again. In some divine, macabre way I had a feeling that I was going to bump into her. I tried to get another table, but the place was shelved with people. It's either a table next to her, or no table at all. She was with her friends and I wasn't going to make a scene by going up to her and introducing myself. I haven't talked to her since I was 18 and she could clearly pretend as though she had never met me, ever before.
So there I was, sitting for two whole hours doing absolutely fuck all. I thought I was over this silly boyhood crush. I wasn't. I was clearly smitten by the girl. It's funny, cause I don't know why. When they got up to leave, all i could do was mouth her name. Nothing came out, not even a whisper.
I don't even know what I was so afraid of. The fear of rejection, the fear of losing what I never had, the fear of the Polo shirt... I honestly don't know.
I guess it was never meant to be, but it's something we have no control over and that is..destiny.
"Will you give me the time of day, a chance is all i ask from you, to take this pain away from me, fly me cause I'm ready." - downsyn3.
The dream i'm talking about, is the dream of a 6 year old crush. Whilst the duration didn't exactly total six years, everytime we stumbled upon one another my heart stopped. Thank god I only saw her once every few years, or I'd have a whole lot less to say these days. I thought that if ever, i had seen her again, I could finally burst the bubble which i've been lugging around with me all this while.
Last night I saw her again. In some divine, macabre way I had a feeling that I was going to bump into her. I tried to get another table, but the place was shelved with people. It's either a table next to her, or no table at all. She was with her friends and I wasn't going to make a scene by going up to her and introducing myself. I haven't talked to her since I was 18 and she could clearly pretend as though she had never met me, ever before.
So there I was, sitting for two whole hours doing absolutely fuck all. I thought I was over this silly boyhood crush. I wasn't. I was clearly smitten by the girl. It's funny, cause I don't know why. When they got up to leave, all i could do was mouth her name. Nothing came out, not even a whisper.
I don't even know what I was so afraid of. The fear of rejection, the fear of losing what I never had, the fear of the Polo shirt... I honestly don't know.
I guess it was never meant to be, but it's something we have no control over and that is..destiny.
"Will you give me the time of day, a chance is all i ask from you, to take this pain away from me, fly me cause I'm ready." - downsyn3.
posted by Eddie at 4:27 PM
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